Thinking In Metaphors

Title Later

Sometimes Our Parents Really Hurt Us

July 4, 2007

This video above was shot over July 4, 2007. It was the first time my son participated in a fireworks display. I'm not really into holidays (other than the fact I don't have to work them). My wife always makes sure that my son is able to enjoy and participate in holidays like July 4th, Halloween, Christmas and Easter (even though we are both agnostic). If it weren't for her, my son would have grown up with only an academic knowledge of holidays so I'm thankful to her that she does this. She is the one to walk up to doors with him during Halloween while I cowardly sit in the car. There is just something about asking for things for free that I feel uncomfortable with, even though it may be expected.

There are several ways someone might use the footage in this video. You could use it with some celebaratory music, like the 1812 overture, or perhaps even some jingoistic anthem like America the Beautiful. As is typical for me, I look at video I shoot first with no idea of what I'm going to do with it. I don't normally set out with a plan (hard to believe I know) when I film. There are times when I purposely shoot certain footage to demonstrate something but I find my best videos are done when I have no plan, I just shoot. This was one of those cases.

After filming, I came back to take a look (almost a year later). After downloading the full 20 gigabytes of HD footage, I was left with a bunch of bad lighting and shaky film. However, I did find bits and pieces I liked, but, ironically, it was some film my wife shot of me and junior silhouetted against the backdrop I found most compelling. She captured a spontaneous interaction between us that really moved me.

Sometimes I have discovered through video certain moments I'm sharing with my son that I was never able to enjoy with my own father because he left us when I was two (I guess I was a handful and he couldn't take it). I don't blame my father, he's always been somewhat of a transitory figure in everyone's life that he has touched. I remember some tender moments from him but most of what I remember is fear and intimidation. I haven't seen or talked to him since I was 15 years old. There are times I think about him, actually there are a lot of times I think about him and how I might be similar to him but will never know. He wasn't a good father, and he would hopefully never claim to have been. But he was the only family member I have that I resemble and I've always felt a bond with him over that, even though there are no typically bonding parent/child memories I have with him.

So, when I see this clip and the moment I'm sharing with my son, I need to keep in mind that I'm not so bad a dad, even though I have my days. Its because I know that parents can sometimes, by their natural variation, really hurt us in ways we and they may not know at the time. I only hope that I don't leave too many hurtful memories for my son, because I did not know what I was doing and how I might affect him ways I never intended.

Autistic Self Portraits by Junior & Message to Lou Dobbs

Educating Lou Dobbs

Lou Dobbs, of CNN Money, took some time away from his zenophobic diatribes against brown people and turned his ugly attention to my people. The result? The same! Lou views us as ugly people with our "ugly" terrible disorder. Well Lou, perhaps you should learn about people you marginalize before you speak. These type of comments from a TV personality further marginalizes autistic people. They place barriers to inclusion in school, the workplace and society. They aren't helpful to us in any way. Mr. Dobb's broadcast was his contribution to April's Autism Awareness.

Self Advocacy and Neurotypicals

Autistic Self Advocacy

The list of 16 was reprinted with the permission of the author, Phil Schwarz. Its a list about autistic people being the leaders in any autistic rights movement or organizations advocating on behalf of autistic people. Of course non-autistic people should be involved as well, but autistic people should always lead these organizations. Non autistic people have made great contributions to Autism Advocacy, as an example please see TAAP (The Autism Acceptance Project lead by a great non autistic). Its a call to us as it is a call to non-autistics. Please visit this webpage for additional information on on Phil's 2004 Autreat presentation Identifying, Educating and Empowering Allies : http://www.autistics.org/library/allies.html

For more in depth discussion of this topic and additional issues of self advocacy, please read this excellent book (co-authored by Phil Schwarz) which can be purchased here:
http://www.amazon.com/Ask-Tell-Self-Advocacy-Disclosure-S...

Behaviors Like Rocking and Flapping

Autism: Behaviors like Rocking and Flapping

This was one of my most popular Youtube videos with well over 100,000 hits. I'll add more to the post later.