Thinking In Metaphors

JRC's Got Me Bookmarked

It's better to be surfing the internet than applying electric shocks to someone. If you look, there is no referral website they came from to my webpage, which probably means my blog has most likely been bookmarked.

Gay and Autistic

Much of my life I have enjoyed music by The Pet Shop Boys, Depeche Mode, George Michael, Elton John, Erasure, Bronksi Beat, Culture Club, Dead or Alive, Pete Shelley, and many many others. This is the music of my youth. However, there was a subplot in much of the music that expressed a gay liberation viewpoint in someways. I was totally unaware of it but others were. All I knew is that I liked the music and it spoke to me on an emotional level. Am I gay? I don't think so, as I have never had an attraction to another man. My romantic thoughts tend to revolve around women, both on an emotional and sexual level.

For many years, while attending Christ School, I was referred to as "That Faggot". My very "machismo" and AS brother told his now ex-wife that I was a "Faggot" because of the music I listened to. My brother very much believed I was "A Faggot" until I got married. My first girlfriend in college thought I was gay when she first met me because I was "so different". I wasn't overtly "flaming" or "feminine" in my ways. No she thought I was gay because of the way I dressed (very neat and immaculate which was really a learned defense mechanism from my Christ School days when I was bullied for the unsophisticated way I dressed).

I've been referred to as a Faggot and a Retard at various points in my life, both of which are epithets used to describe distinct minority groups. So I guess in some ways, I can understand what it is like to be marginalized by one's sexuality (even fearing physical harm from those that hold these views). There are certain members of the Autism Hub that are homophobic yet claim to be interested in promoting neurodiversity. Oh, arguments like homosexuality is an abomination in the "eye of God" is the way they justify their bigotry. From my experience, there is very little difference between being targeted based on sexuality and neurology. To be gay and autistic is a doubly heavy burden to bear. Many of my online friends I have made in the past 2 years have been gay and autistic. One of them simply retreated when he finally came to the conclusion that he was gay after his failed marriage.

I've often given thought as to whether I am bisexual or not. I had a roommate in college that was gay and his view was that the only true position one can take is to be bisexual. His view was that even gay people like himself could be attracted to the opposite sex, but not necessarily from an emotional stand point. I didn't understand this view at the time but as I age I can sort of understand it. I think I've progressed enough intellectually and emotionally to view sexuality as something other than a purely evolutionary drive. Love is really what people seek and for some people, the emotional love is only natural to them with the same sex.

It would be a lie for me to say that I have never fantasized about having sex with another man because I have, but only in an abstract notion and typically with a female in the picture. Does this mean I'm gay? I don't think so but I could be a closeted bisexual. But could I be attracted to another male outside of a sexual encounter? I don't think so as it hasn't happened. Emotionally, I am much more attracted to women and they don't have to have the same body concept as a man I might be attracted to sexually in my fantasies. Where is the line between heterosexuality and homosexuality? Is it the emotional bridge? If so, I'm clearly a heterosexual person. If not, I could easily be bisexual. However, I am not exclusively either I guess based on my own fantasies.

I also wonder how this public discussion of my views of sexuality will affect my personal online relationships. I've never spoken this candidly about sexuality before. There is all sorts of bigotry out there even from people that express progressive views. However, being true to my nature and thoughts is much more important to me personally than what someone might think about me.

There is much autistic people can learn from the Gay Rights movement. There is also much gay people can learn about the autistic human rights movement known as Neurodiversity. Both groups seek acceptance for who they are. This has been my private plea to gay men such as David Kirby and Graham Streeter. Both of these men are gay. But, being a member of a repressed minority doesn't mean you have any special empathy towards other groups. You can be gay and bigoted and straight and bigoted. Intolerance for differences in neurology is independent of race, sexual orientation, religion and even neurology.

While not gay myself, I do find much of gay "culture" speaks to me on an individual and spiritual level. So you can call me a "Faggot", I am neither ashamed of that label or trying to run from it. If Faggot is how you wish to categorize me, I'm ok with that.

Poll for Readers of my Blog

Tell me what you think of this website I'm working on and thinking of using instead of this one your looking at. All I would like you to look at is the visual style. Content will come later if I use it. Is it fast for you? How do you like the page tabs at the top? Do I need to reduce the width?

Click here to see the other website:

This blog is a typepad blog and the ichristschool site is a rapidweaver style webpage. I like the typepad, but the rapidweaver is nice too. There are more options I can use with rapidweaver, but typepad is easier to use. Let me know which you like. Thanks in advance.

Amnesty International, How About a Little Noise for the children of JRC?

This picture was "lifted" from the Washington Post today about a protest in Washington D.C. staged by Amnesty International. A full replica of Gitmo was constructed by the human rights group to demonstrate the conditions of the prisoners at Gitmo. I've got a clue to offer Amnesty International. If they think conditions at Gitmo are harsh, travel a couple hundred miles north to Canton Massachusettes and take a tour of the Judge Rotenberg Center. Gitmo detainees got it easy compared to those kids and I promise you it will change your outlook about what is LEGALLY going on for decades now in the US. Perhaps they will visit when the air is full of burning flesh from the bodies of children imprisoned for the sole crime of having a disability. No enemy combatant's. No tribal chieftans carrying kalashnikovs. No international groups fighting for the human rights of these detainees. Amnesty International simply doesn't give a damn from the lack of response I've received (which is to say no response). Might be a little tough though for AI's volunteers to replicate JRC, unless they want to walk around the Washington Mall with a lead acid battery strapped to their backs and three electrodes wrapped around their bodies getting a jolt multiple times a day. Far easier to kneel on a lawn or sit in a small room than to burn ones flesh from so many electric shocks.

JRC has been opened in some form or fashion since the 1970's, yet not a peep from Amnesty International. Why? It's not like they don't know the place exists, I've personally contacted them several times.

A Pattern of Abuse in St. Lucie

Recently, 5 year old St. Lucie County School kindergartener Alex Barton made world wide news by being voted out of his class, in what some have called "Survivor" style after the popular television show. St. Lucie County Schools Superintendent Michael Lannon, also voted 2007 Florida Superintendent of the year, has stated that young master Barton's case will be thoroughly investigated and that he is concerned with the actions of Alex's teacher, Wendy Portillo. However, Mr. Lannon has a poor track record of handling documented abuse cases in his district and he knowingly employs special education workers with criminal histories.

Meet 15 year employee/ESE subcontractor of St. Lucie County Schools and Special Education Florida Certified Behaviorist Frank Krukauskas

The below mug shot was removed by the Indian County Sheriff's department, probably due to a complaint by Frank or an FOF (friend of Frank). The webmaster kindly sent me a note saying that he had removed access to the photo because I bypassed the notification rules. Being the typical autie perserverator though, I managed to take a screen shot of Frank's mug and arrest record when I originally linked the document. Never know what might disappear from websites:-)

DUI ARREST

WILLFUL WANTON RECKLESS DRIVING (Road Rage?)

FACEBOOK

There is certainly more arrest records on Frank I have pulled from other counties. I post this information because I believe it shows a pattern of the type of employees Superintendent Lannon hires to work in the special needs classrooms in the St. Lucie County Schools. Anyone with a drinking and driving problem and road rage arrests has no business working with children, especially disabled children.

Meet 7 year old student "John Doe", allegedly a victim of Frank Krukauskas:

A very lengthy and well documented case investigation to appear on this website soon that will demonstrate a lack of professional judgement on Mr. Lannon's supervision as well as a seemingly disregard for the welfare of autistic and other special education student's under his charge.